Leaving One Goodbye
by Here2Say
Summary: When Revan decides to leave the group on Telos, she only has one goodbye to deliver herself. P.S. I own none of the rights to KoTOR but I love the story when Revan is female! Enjoy!


Canderous stood away from her, cautioning himself against her words, as yet unspoken. She had her back to him, which initially gave him guard. But as he studied her, he noted how her shoulders did not proclaim her inner strength and her hands she held in front of her cupped at the waist. Her body was as lax as one who had just accepted defeat. He did not recognize this woman. This woman that he now stood before, watching for some action; this woman whom he had followed into battle without hesitation of personal fear or survival wants; this woman whom he was willing to lay down his life for, he now, in this moment knew her not at all. This sudden realization made him question if he was correct in assuming it was Korra. Perhaps it was an illusion. Maybe just too much ale. Korra always said he drank too much. He watched her carefully, looking for some sign of identity. Just then, her head lowered and her shoulders rose and fell as she let out an uncharacteristic sigh. Canderous steadied his nerves against this unknown being. Now he was sure he did not stand before the woman whose side he had so many times in the past waded into battle with no fear of the outcome. This was someone else. Her voice startled him when she spoke, though he was well not to show it, for it belonged to the one whom he knew was not present.

"Does your mind seek to trick your Mandalorian senses from interpreting the truth? Or perhaps I have changed and it is I that frauds your senses." Then, her shoulders strengthened and her head raised tall. She turned and looked him directly in the eyes. To this his courage nearly faltered, though he was sure not to let her see. Before him was indeed Korra, though her features had been drastically altered. Her skin was as pale as death and her eyes no longer held the fire they once did. Covering her face in a web-like pattern was an array of deep set lines drawn in darkened red. Her smile slowly faded as even on his stone face, his shock and horror were apparent.

"Please, Canderous do not fear my appearance. The effects may soon diminish." Thinking he had allowed his emotions to show, he quickly hardened himself and stood erect.

"Effects?"

"Of the Dark Side. Do not pretend you do not see that I have changed. Your thoughts are loud enough." Canderous started to deny it but closed his mouth instead. He knew she already felt his mind for the truth. For a moment she said nothing. Returning her gaze to the window, she resumed the stance she had when he had entered the room. He wanted her to speak again but as the moments passed he saw in the reflection that she was lost to her thoughts. Finally, he pressed her for answers.

"Korra, why did you ask me here?" Still she gazed into the blackness locked in a daze. "Korra," in a flash she whipped around to face him but now she was transformed. Her eyes were ablaze with fear and anger.

"Who are you!? How did you get in here!?" Her voice was suddenly deeper and darker. Shocked by her sudden alteration, he did not reply, spurring her anger. "Who are you!? Answer me if you wish to leave by your own strength."

"You let me in. You told me to come."

"Lies, I have never seen you before. Get out before I have your limbs ripped from your body." With a flurry of her cloak she turned away from him. But Canderous was not to be summoned and dismissed like a dog. Storming up to her, he grabbed her shoulder and turned her to face him.

"Korra, you called me in here and I'm not…" Suddenly the air in his lungs stalled and his throat tightened, collapsing on itself.

"I do not know this 'Korra'." Canderous fell to his knees. He pulled at his tunic to alleviate the pressure holding his lungs captive. His tongue seemed to lay heavy and thick in his mouth. Just out of his vision he could see her standing above him. With his eyes clouding by the second, the strength in his arms vanished, throwing him to the floor facing his assailant. She stared at him with such casual observation; it was as if she didn't care if he died at her feet, by her hand. As if she weren't even the Korra he knew. His mind flashed. 'Of course, it's not her!' His chest felt full but he had to bring her back, even with his dying breath. With a great heave, he managed to cry out to her.

"Korra!" As his final breath escaped him, his eyes rolled back and he was left in darkness. Seconds passed unnoticed before he was awoken by a wide-eyed and terrified Korra. She shook his shoulders, slapping his face.

"Canderous, Canderous please, wake up!" A sudden force of air rushed into his lungs as Korra put her lips to his, pushing the breath from her lungs to his. Still seeing those cold eyes, Canderous shoved her away and rolled over, gasping for oxygen. His arms and legs were still heavy but with great effort, he pushed himself into a sitting position. With his guard fully applied against her, he tried to pull himself away from her. She came closer, trying to help him up.

"Canderous," she began.

Quickly, he pulled himself away. "Who are you?" His vision was still blurred for lack of oxygen but he could see her reach for his arm. Pulling it back he fumbled for his blaster in his belt. Korra saw his intention and jumped to call him off.

"No, Canderous, it's Korra. It's me, I'm Korra." Slowly his nerves calmed down enough for him to realize that Korra was in the face before him.

Still gasping in small gulps he stuttered, "What- was that?" He didn't try to hide the anger in his voice. She didn't answer right away. Clearing her voice she muttered to him.

"That's what I asked you here to discuss." He tried to look into her eyes to see her truth but she turned away. Something had changed about her manner though, and her skin had gotten paler.

"You, *cough*, you almost killed me." Korra quickly corrected him.

"No, I didn't. _She _did." Korra glanced at him but immediately looked away again. Understanding swept over him.

"Korra, is _she _coming back?" Korra shook as she tried to hide a small sob, but she nodded. Momently, she set her face and turned to him, careful to avoid his eyes.

"Yes, and she is getting stronger. The reason I called you here was to tell you that. I'm sorry, I let my guard down. She takes advantage of every moment she can. *sigh* Canderous, Revan is returning and after my recent dealings with Malak, she has only gotten stronger. I won't be able to hold her back much longer."

"How long has she been… held back?"

"Well, I've always held her at bay. But, since I fought Malak she has been more… active. She's been raging more frequently these past few weeks." She paused for a moment, closing her eyes in a sigh.

"Is that why you have not accepted Carth's offer?" She looked him in the eye then. He could see she did not expect him to know that. He nodded knowingly. "I see. Does he know about this?" Hesitating, she shook her head.

"No, and I'd rather keep it that way." Slowly she rose from the floor, holding herself up on the back of a chair. Canderous followed momentarily. She held her head down, tears streaming down closed eyes. She didn't speak, and neither did he. She was certainly changed. The Korra he knew was nothing but composed, even if her eyes were the exact opposite. He suddenly realized just how much she had been through. How changed she was, how strong she had to be to make it this far was impressive but saddening all the same. Then without opening her eyes she said quietly, composed like the woman she was, "I'm leaving, Canderous." She looked up at him; she watched for his reaction. There was nothing to read on his face. It was stone, empty; not even a glint in his eyes would give him away. Actually, he wasn't even sure he had heard her right.

"Leaving," she nodded slightly. "For how long?" Again she turned away. He thought for a moment that she would not answer. He reached for her shoulder but remembering, touched her gently on the arm instead. "Korra, how long are you going to be gone?" She shook her head.

"I don't know. But, I feel as though once I go; you, Mission, Zallbar, the droids… Carth; I fear I'll never see any of you again." Stepping closer, he couldn't believe her words.

"Don't say that."

"Canderous, it may very well be true. Where I'm going may take more than time out of me. If I find this place, it's possible this shell may return, but not this mind."

"You don't really believe that do you? You are stronger than her. You defeated her once, you can do it again." Putting a hand on her shoulder, hesitantly, her rigidity softened a sigh escaping her. Again she was quiet. He didn't know what to say to her. Before he could come up with anything, Korra whispered.

"I must start off in a few days. I have already made preparations concerning everyone on the team. All of you will have a place to stay if you wish to take the accommodations. I wish… I wish things could be easier but…" She paused. He wanted to hold her close, to protect her from the fears she harbored. His heart raged against his Mandalorian instincts to be hard. He didn't know what to do to comfort her. All he managed to say was,

"There is nothing easy about losing you." His voice was softer than she had ever heard from him. There was sincerity there that was uncommon for his race. "You are afraid of hurting those closest to you and you don't know what else to do. But running off without a word and alone isn't going to make a difference if Revan comes back. You might not be used to it, but you need this team. We can find a way, together." Pausing he added, "All of us."

Shaking her head, "I don't mean to…"

"Don't mean to what? Did you think you could slip away from them unnoticed? Korra, they care for you. I …care for you. Stay, we can help."

"No, you can't. I can't stay."

"Why not?" She paused for a moment. Frustrated with her silence, he turned to walk away, but her hand on his skin gave him pause.

"I'm dying, Canderous." He stopped at her touch, his heart sinking with her words. As the idea sank in his heart swelled in his throat. He shook his head free of emotion before he turned back to her slowly. She had no expression on her face, nothing to give away if she was lying or not but he felt her words rang true. For a moment neither said anything, they just looked at each other. Then, he spoke,

"Are you sure?" She nodded.

"I've known since Manaan. I don't know how long I have. That's why I'm leaving as soon as possible."

"If you are dying then why are you so keen on leaving? You should be seeing a Bacta. You should be with friends, people who… err, well." A smile crept over her lips as he stumbled for a word that wouldn't give him away. "You should be with this team. We are here for each other no matter what, to whatever end." Her smile, though sad, widened and, laughing a bit to herself, she came nearer to him.

"I know," Her smile disappeared slowly. "But, I have other reasons for going."

"What reasons," his voice betrayed nothing. Glancing out the window, she looked out into the nothing far away from this tiny planet at an unseen destination. They moved toward it, silently at first. When she did speak, her tone was soft but serious.

"Out there, somewhere farther than the mind can comprehend is a place where true Sith dwell. It is far worse than Korriban could ever hope to be. I must find that place and destroy it, by any means necessary. My time is almost up, but I cannot waste time with Bactas. A great evil is growing out there and I must fight it."

"You don't have to do it alone. You have us; this team will fight by your side." She sighed, dropping her eyes.  
"I know, my friend. But, for your sake and theirs I have to do this alone. Where I am going, one needs to be concrete in the Force and in the mind to withstand the pure evil that fills the very air you breathe. Weakness in either leads to a quick fall."

"How do you know about it?"

"It is where Revan and Malak first began their journey in the dark side. I must go, Canderous." Again, neither spoke for a while. Although he truly did not wish for her to go, he knew her mind was made up. Something, however, about her manner, perhaps her refusal to look him in the eye, made him wonder if there wasn't something more.

"What aren't you telling me? There is something you are leaving out. I can see it in you." Korra grinned slightly. He could always, 'see it in her.' Nodding, she straightened her back.

"I am leaving, because I have to protect this team."

"Protect this team from what?"

"Me," she looked at him now. His mind worked to understand her words. "Canderous, when I am dead Revan may not necessarily come with me."

"How is that possible? If you are dead then so is your body…"

"Revan was a Sith Master capable of many things. She had the power to make anything she wanted appear out of nothing. She, though caged, is very powerful and very dangerous. She does not need a live body to survive." Canderous melded over that thought for some time. How could she be willing to go somewhere where Revan could flourish?

"If that's the case, why give Revan the opportunity to return with a full blown army?"

"That is why I have to go now. When Revan returns, that is where she will head for and an army she will have. I might be able to diminish their numbers before she gets to them. It is wasted time if I sit back and do nothing during my last days. I can at least make the most of them. Do not think I am so ignorant to believe I can destroy the whole lot. I know I cannot, but if I am careful and clever I may be able to cause a bit of trouble for our enemies. And perhaps, give you enough time to find a better, more permanent way of destroying the Sith for good." He caught what she said, but he wasn't sure if she meant how it sounded. A small smile crossed her face. He knew she had read his thoughts. Straightening himself, he stood a little tenser.

"_You_ who?" Nodding, she paced slowly.

"That is yet another reason why I asked you here. Since I am leaving, I need someone to take my place and lead this team in my stead. I have made my decision. If you are willing, I would wish for you to take my place." His mind went blank. Him; lead this team? For the first time, he understood how deeply she trusted him. She wanted him to take account for this team. That is what she wanted. She wanted him. She wanted _him. _Patiently, she waited for his answer.

"I would be honored." He bowed respectfully, and she in return. Then remembering, "What of Carth, how much does he know?"

"He doesn't know. He has already decided for himself to lead the way for the recovery of Telos. I would not ask the others. They are too inexperienced and Jolee; well, he is set in his ways. Besides, he gives advice better than he gives orders." Canderous grunted in agreement but he knew Jolee was a valuable asset even though he was easily gnarled. He didn't know what to say to her. There didn't seem to be anything left. Nothing he could say would sway her from the path she laid before herself. Bowing again, Canderous turned to leave, but then,

"Canderous, one more thing." He faced her again. Their eyes locked and he noticed the paleness in her skin. He noticed how visibly weak she was. He admired her strength. Her voice was as gentle, yet powerful as ever even in weakness. "When I leave, please make sure no one follows me." His heart shattered under the weight of her words. No one was to follow her, not even him. He nodded understandingly, acknowledging her as determined as he could.

"As you wish, my lady."


End file.
